Freshwater Sharks Bite Children at 35th Beach. A Play
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Russ Osantowski Carter Elementary
5740 S. Michigan Ave.
Chicago IL 60637
This lesson is for 2-12th grades. Students will learn about the many
different scientific occupations as well as some possible specializations
therein, and perhaps a little bit of other life considerations, ecological,
financial, educational, sociological, and emotional as to greed, avarice, truth
justice and the American Way. It integrates biology, physics, drama, chemistry,
genetics engineering areas, etc.
3x5 cards. That's all really. But, you are probably reading this on a
computer so you will have to transfer the parts to 3x5 cards. Therefore you
will need access to printer, scissors, and glue or a printer and laminator to
print, cut and glue the parts of this play onto 3x5 cards or to just print or
photocopy, cut and laminate this play.
Other than on career day it is hard to transmit the enthusiasm and thinking
involved of a professional educated person pursuing their knowledge and their
detective-like dedication in this full-run headlong pursuit. By putting these
cards and more in the hands of students, each one will have a new and
interesting part to play, will see a glimmer of how complex our ever increasing
store of knowledge and our society is and will be motivated to want to make a
more relevant concentration in their education.
The setting of the play is a sort of "town meeting" or in this case, a
public meeting attended by the Chicago ward committeeman who is also a Chicago
city building inspector, and other people in the neighborhood of the 35th street
beach, 60% of whom are shouting that something has to be done to save "Our
Children, Our Future" (which is the present motto of the Chicago Board of
Be or appoint a moderator for this discussion. Tell the students that they
must observe, take notes and write 1-5000 paragraphs on what is happening in
this meeting what the thoughts are of the people there, what they said, where
they are coming from, going to and what type of person they are, by writing a 1
paragraph character sketch of each person. They must write about 1-30
characters in the play.
Here are the parts to be glued on the front and sometimes back of 3x5
cards, or just laminated from the printed or photocopied page.
Pro shark. SHARKS NEVER HAVE CANCER AND THEY
EAT EVERYTHING THAT CAUSES CANCER. In fact I
have been FEEDING THEM CANCEROUS LIPS AND
LUNGS removed from smokers and many human
cancerous body parts removed by local surgeons
as well as fish with cancer. I have injected
live cancer cells into them and they never get
it. As a microbiologist I think I HAVE FOUND
ALL of the ANTIBODIES in a shark THAT PREVENT
CANCER from growing. As a marine biologist I
have been researching for these antibodies
that their bodies make and I'm trying to
Pro shark. I am an Ecologist. The previous
invasions of the lamprey eel and the zebra
shell mussels haven't done any appreciable
damage. Let's wait and see, the cures might
pollute the water. In fact, the last invasion
is clearing up not only the Great Lakes, but
also the Mississippi River. And, it is
providing a possible new food source, for
certain fish, so the zebra mussels have proved
to be very beneficial in the long run for
water reservoirs, as free hardworking
Pro shark. I am a cytologist. I have
discovered how the shark's cells repel cancer.
I feel I can clone these cells and inject them
into humans to replicate and cure cancer.
Like all scientists, I will need several
freshly caught sharks everyday for the next
five to ten years to finish my research.
Pro shark. I am a chemist and have found that
sharks have a chemical in their body made near
or in their (liver?) that keeps them hungry
most of the time. My niece is very thin
because of anorexia nervosa. If I can isolate
and synthesize that chemical, I can sell it
worldwide to doctors to treat that disease. I
always wanted a mail order business that was a
guaranteed moneymaker. More importantly, so
does my wife. The mentally ill (neurotic)
anorexic people will always be with us so our
new business will be recession proof. The
fisherman delivers daily.
Pro shark. I'm a physicist. I'm freezing
different sharks, making molds of them and
filling the molds with different liquid
combinations to equal exact scaled down models
made of real airplane materials of equal mass.
I then suspend them in wind tunnels to test
for a new jet design.
Pro shark. When night falls, I am the
fisherman. I know people are afraid of the
sharks, and I catch them at night by using
bloodball bait and nets and hooks that I have
shot out with a crossbow at night. I come
back just before dawn, haul in my catch, throw
it into a large body bag in my trunk and await
my calls on my cellular phone while I have
breakfast at the IIT cafeteria. I am parked
at the IIT lot across the street. I'm
wondering about getting my lazy brother-in-law
to do the same for Loyola, DePaul,
Northwestern, U. of Illinois, and Roosevelt
Pro Shark. I am a virologist and I have
designed a virus to carry the all purpose
virus I found in the freshwater sharks that
keep them from ever getting ill. They never
die from illness. They only die when bitten
by accident in a feeding frenzy and then they
are eaten by other sharks. I designed a human
virus to carry this virus into human cells to
take over the mitochondria and to make these
protective viruses so humans will live longer
or maybe forever.
I am a virologist and I have designed a virus
to carry over the genetic cell design for
reproduction of teeth to the human body so
that we will keep growing new teeth and we
will never ever have to see a dentist in our
I am a chef and I have 67 proven recipes for
shark fin soup, etc. I'm working on creating
new ones and I'm writing them down so I can
write and sell my cookbook worldwide.
I'm a marina owner and I have rented out 25
more spaces to charter boat captains. This is
$50,000.00 extra income in boat rental dock
and drydock fees, per year. I now spend the
winter in Florida and let my son run it during
winter arthritis time.
As a geneticist I've found a variant gene on
chromosome 17 that is psoriasis susceptible
causing cells to divide at a faster rate and
never mature. I can see the normal
development easier in a shark's cells and
gain clues as to what is needed for normal
As a Chicago licensing official whose brother-
in-law is a building inspector. Boat owners,
new restauranteurs, and commercial fishermen
are pounding on my door with money in their
hands. New hotels are going up on 35th street
and they need liquor, food and other licenses.
I own 4 vacant lots on 35th street.
Antishark. I am Sister Teresa and I run the
Catholic orphanage on 35th street with 3000
children of wading and swimming age.
I'm a mother of 15 children, ages 1-15 and we
live next to the 35th street beach. My
children love to swim and sailboard there.
Pro or anti shark. I am Mrs. Know-It-All. I
interrupt people, and say things like, "I know
where you're coming from," and that "You
scientists are nothing but educated fools," or
"It's about time we had some meaningful
research done once and for all and children
should not stop progress, they should be in
school all summer anyhow." WRITE YOUR OWN
SPEECH AS QUICK AS YOU CAN. WRITE MORE IF YOU
Neutral. As an engineer in the Army Corps of
Engineers, I'm in charge of the shoreline and
all inland waterways including all rivers. If
an underwater fence is put up by the beach to
stop sharks from biting and eating parts of
swimmers, it would cause many people to lose
their lakeshore homes at the southern tip of
Lake Michigan in Ill. and Ind. unless you
spend $1,000,000,000.00 to build a jetty due
east to prevent beach erosion. Your taxes
will go up to pay for this.